Loved, Scammed, and Moving On

Dec 5

Dec 5 Loved, Scammed, and Moving On

The really good Hallmark movies take place over a two to four week time period (from my experience). During that time, the main couple fall deeply in love!

I’ve always wondered if that was a real possibility or if that was the Hallmark magic?

This August I finally lost that weight again (wonderland!), some friends took pictures, and I posted a profile on a popular dating app. Within a few days I was texting in the app to Leonardo! A professional from here that might be a little older than me; but who doesn't like a little experience - right?

After a few hours, we switched over to texting and we were off! Texting all hours of the day and night. He ended up asking me over 100 questions about how I am with past relationships, family, friends, etc. At the time I thought he was really interested! This should have come up as a flag for me.

Major flag. He had to cancel our first in-person date because he was leaving on a business trip for three weeks, but he will be back soon. He was soooooooooooooooooo sorry!!!!

It was during this trip that we started talking on the phone - which was scary, thrilling, and amazing all at once!

On our beginning phone calls he made it a point to tell me that I should remember to talk to him about everything and not talk to other people about our relationship because it was between us. And it was because he cared about me so much that he wanted to be everything to me. Flag number two!

During the first week away he missed me so much, therefore he wrote me an email which made me melt. It was so romantic I thought I was the luckiest woman in the world to have found this amazing guy.

We talked on the phone multiple times every day while the end of the three weeks got closer. Until he let me know he would be staying longer, but he told me that he loved me and has never loved anyone this much in a long time (he was a widower). This would be around the one month time if you are following along.

At this point I would do anything for this man - and I think he knew that because…

He told me he was having problems at work and needed me to send him money - so I did without hesitation; ‘How much do you need?’ I heard myself asking. He loved me, I loved him, and he was in need - there isn’t a problem. Flags flying all over the place.

I need to point out that during this we are also texting all the time. I am sending long texts about my day and sending him E.E. Cummings or Shakespeare or ME. Since he asked me to write him poetry. Who does that?! Should we flag him here? I think we need to because it is so cheesy!

He is also sending me long texts saying how much he loves me, how blessed he is to have me in his life, he can’t wait to have me by his side - to hold me in his arms, I mean the world to him, etc. Just reading these gave me butterflies. And I would read them over and over and over again because they made me feel that good. They were like a drug.

In October, he is still on his business trip, I become sick for a few days. On the worst day he stayed on the phone with me while I made some food to eat and reminded me to take my medicine each day. I thought; ‘How did I get so lucky to find this man? He is so good to me!’

But, like all things that are fake and you don’t know it - they reveal themselves when you least expect it...and come crashing down.

According to the FTC (Federal Trade Commission) 2018 saw more than 21,000 reports about Romance Scams (being lured with phony, attractive online profiles with convincing personas) and those people reported losing a total of $143 million - which is more than any other fraud type! Read more about this trend.

I tell you this because I am now part of the 2019 statistic.

‘Leonardo’ did not end up being a real person that I would ever meet.

It took 3 months until I caught him in a lie that I would let myself believe. Some really fantastic people showed me how easy it was to find the various communications from him on Google. Which was a rude awakening for me because I thought they were written for ME and me alone. I did not expect them to be just a template he coldly copied and just hit send.

Then I was told there is not any ‘Leonardo’. He does not exist. The guy I was talking to on the phone every night, texting, and saying ‘I love you’ is not real. All those plans we were making for a life together were not real and were never going to happen.

May I share something with you? You can’t just tell my heart that fell in love back in September that in November this guy never existed. That all those feelings, dreams, and plans never existed. That it was a scam. Because they did and I have to do something with them now that everything is over.

My therapist - everyone needs one - said that I was betrayed by Leonardo and I am grieving. That makes a lot of sense to me and matches how I am feeling. So I am treating it like that.

Now for YOU! Please learn from what I did and if you are going to use online dating - MEET the person ASAP so you know they are real. Look at all my flags above - I added them for a reason. There should not have been that many flags in the relationship before I talked to my family or my therapist or someone. I should never have just talked to him because he was the problem.

If you think you are being scammed you can submit your information to the FTC and the FBI Internet Crimes Complaint Center:

FTC
Rip-Offs and Imposter Scams > Romance Scams

FBI
Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3)